Thoughts of a family mediator

The Author: Dr. Imke Wulfmeyer, CONSENSUS Campus Training Director

“How did you actually come to me as a mediator?” I asked the couple in their mid-fifties who came to me for their first mediation session.

“Julia S. is the fiancée of our son. Unbeknownst to us, we are supposed to give you our best regards! She thinks her parents would have torn themselves apart without your help, and now they’ve become friends after the divorce.”

I will never forget how touched I was. I knew immediately who this Julia was, about whom we had been quite worried 15 years ago – not only her parents, but also me as their mediator, because Julia had clearly expressed as a thirteen-year-old how much her parents’ highly contentious separation had thrown her off track.

This recommendation from a child of divorce, who has since grown up, made me realize once again what family mediation can do. The fee may be lower than business mediation, but the payoff cannot be matched by money.

The magical mediation moments when the knot is broken! When a divorcing couple can laugh together again for the first time. When you think you can hear the stone falling from their hearts after the financial issues have been settled. When we go out for a relaxed dinner after the notary appointment, where the final agreement is notarized, to celebrate the successful mediation, and I think to myself as I say goodbye: If anything should happen to the children now, the parents can be there for them side by side.

That’s why I became a family mediator!